We are coming to an end to our meeting today and I had one last question for Holden. I asked him what were some of his motivations, reasons, and some of his fulfillments from the things that have happened, I could tell Holden was antsy and wanted to leave so I just asked him to tell me a couple things.
He started off by talking about his main motivation in life was his kid sister Phoebe, and his deceased brother Allie. Holden said he believes this because he had his mind set on hitch hiking out west and start a new life but when his little sister packed a bag and asked to go with he got upset. “Can’t I go with you? Holden? Can’t I? Please.” (pg206). Then Holden told me he replied in a way he shouldn’t have “No. Shut up.” (pg206), He raised his voice at her and he said he hates doing that and it made him feel like he was going to pass out he felt so sore about it. Then Holden went on to tell me how when he feels like he’s meant to do something or be somewhere to help someone or something, that makes him happy and boosts his self esteem. Holden brought up a time when he was in a café and there were two nuns in there and they were school teachers but also helped to collect donations for the salvations army. He said he was sitting next to them and he sparked up a conversation and everything then he saw the basket and offered ten bucks but they refused and after insisting they should take it they did. “They let me give them the ten bucks as a contribution…” (pg110). I could tell this helped Holden’s self esteem and he had a reason to feel like he was meaningful.
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